Day 5 Shelter in Place
They are starting to shut off state borders to contain the virus. Trump is pitting states against each other in the race for resources/ ventilators/ COVID tests.
Went for a walk with my friend Anna and enjoyed some time with a fellow anxiety sufferer who is handling the pandemic really well thanks to meds/ practice with panic.
Quiet day, reading day. Carp shaved his beard for COVID. Had first video conferencing call with grandparents, siblings, parents.
Day 6 Shelter in Place
Old man drinking beer in his truck side eyeing us. He’s the only other person in sjght. We’re going on a hike on a new trail out in Missouri. There is a dead possum at the trail head, and now the trail ends. We find The River, and come upon other people to our relief. Then we realize there are gunshots right across the river, while will continue for the next 15 minutes of our walk. Soon we hear the national anthem being sung on loudspeakers, carried across the river with the gun shots. Weirdest hike life. We finished it, but we are probably never going back.
The UK is warning of a 6 month lock down, while our president extended our social distancing guidelines to include the next month (April). I’ve made it through 5 books so far on quarantine.
Day 7 Shelter in Place
I talk to my friend Carinne about whether to still patronize restaurants for take out right now. Is it ethical to stay away and not put workers at more risk, or is it ethical to come and purchase food to support the local workers? Carinne said that because most servers only make around $2.75 an hour, it’s to their benefit if you keep coming. She said she worked a 6 hour shift the other day at her restaurant, and only had about 4 customers come and pick up take out.
Delivery workers in NYC are demanding hazard pay to continue working. Something that was a joke with cashiers a few weeks ago is manifesting.
Day 8 Shelter in Place
Is this still happening? I feel like all people of the world are like the little bacteria species that live on our eyebrows. And someone just shaved their eye brows and all of us living there are like, whelp…
April Fools Day, Day 9 Shelter in Place
Have fucking two fingernails infected with puss. I’m not really able to do anything with my hands/ I am typing with only two fingers! Maybe from strumming guitar? By the way we are still uploading new youtube videos! This has never happened before, don’t know why it did and I’m getting OCD that I’ll get sepsis. Carp says that is right on track for me to not worry about realities like global pandemics, but fixate on something that is so specific and not yet a reality.
Day feels wasted. Had panic, then felt old familiar feeling of anxiety like I was going to burst. Finally hit a wall after reading all day. Didn’t know what to do. Laid in bed again, and then got to listening to podcasts. Feeling better.
Midnight thoughts…Noticing more “if, then” thinking: OCD. Instant rules I must abide to. For example just now I find myself thinking seriously: “if Carp gets up o use the bathroom then bad things will happen. If he just brushes his teeth or does something else, all is fine.” When he gets up to use the bathroom I stiffen. But then remind myself that listening to these little rules is helping OCD get stronger. I’ve done it all my life, and I can never let my guard down about it. Dont listen rules I know are OCD, no matter how easily and comfortably they come to me. Carp is now coughing. He should not go to work.
Day 10 Shelter in Place
Oh, we’re cruising now. Finally figured out what work looks like from home. And I turned on the tunes. Thanks, Spotify. I’ve been without music for this whole pandemic, and just remembered I need the heart, not just the brains. Scarecrow and lion both present, now. Finally learning excel. Both my jobs are picking up in a good way, and I got the callback about being a jail librarian I had applied for before all of this pandemic stuff.
Went to grab dinner from my parents tonight for the first time in a few weeks, ended up staying a little while and sitting across the living room from one another. Then delivered food to my grandparents, and saw them for the first time in a month or so. Grandma sewed us homemade masks!
Probably won’t see family for awhile, it made me feel nervous.
“WHEN FEVER STRIKES, STAY HOME!” displayed on all of the electric signs on the interstate driving home.
Day 11 Shelter in Place
NYC ad LA just made it mandatory for all to wear masks in public. Of the 10 states without stay at home orders, Missouri has the most COVID19 cases. Thankful the mayor of Kansas City, Missouri ordered a shelter in place almost two weeks ago now.