Have you heard of the Power and Control Wheel?

Domestic Violence, Depp v. Heard and Society

  1. abusers are usually charming
  2. victims are usually doubting themselves because their self esteem has been broken down continually by their abuser
  3. abusers usually think they are the victim. abusive behavior doesn’t come from malice most of the time, it comes from a fucked up sense of love and thinking they will lose someone
  4. and finally, because if you looked at your own relationships close enough, you would probably see patterns of power and control within them. We normalize a bit of it in society- stalking is “romantic” as well as “I need to be with you or else I will die” dramatizations of love. Take a look at the relationships in your life. Are you in control in specific relationships, or are you at the control of someone else’s power? Most relationships are not exactly equal when we really look at it. Now amplify that power and control and have the world tell you that you are definitely lying about your own experiences, and that America’s favorite movie star is beholden to your abusive power (no matter that he’s a man, and he’s also way more famous than you).

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midwestern librarian, writer, activist

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