Have you heard of the Power and Control Wheel?

Domestic Violence, Depp v. Heard and Society

First, credentialing: I am by no means an expert in domestic violence, but have worked in and adjacent to domestic violence shelters for the past 10 years. I actually just logged 40 hours of training at a local DV (domestic violence) shelter this winter, with hours of trainings fresh in my mind.

Second, if you’ve never seen the power and control wheel depicted in the picture for this piece before, then you need to start doing some research before you say another word on Depp v. Heard.

In regards to lived experience outside of the academic, I am a woman who has dated many men in this society. I have come across my own share of abusive partners (all men in my case). And I have seen friends in much more dire situations (escalating to deadly physical violence, while mine was early on emotional abuse). In all of my situations with friends and myself, the man in question (the abuser) never lost any charm in the eyes of friends and society around him. When others were presented with the idea of this side of the men, they simply refused to believe it. “He’s so nice to me.” “He’s so gentle.” “He’s so charming in Pirates of the Caribbean and on the witness stand, he would never” etc.