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Nude Beaches, Sea Lions and “This is 30”

Jess is one of my favorite people in the world, and I am so happy to be spending time with her in San Diego. It has ocean, mountains, Mexico, and desert all available for day trips.

We began the trip with some exciting job searching for Jess which might not be appropriate for this blog, and enjoyed brunch next to some trash cans.

Crystals and Camping in a Grand Canyon Park Ranger’s Yard

My brother and I traveled a lot together as kids thanks to our wonderful adventurous parents. However, we have not traveled together much as adults but we definitely should do more of it.

Sedona, AZ

On Wednesday we picked up my brother Ben and his fiance Kate from the Phoenix airport, and then drove two hours north to Sedona, AZ. None of us had ever been to Sedona before and didn’t really know what to expect, but had been recommended it multiple times by different people. Turns out it’s just as gorgeous, and rich, as you might expect.

Chihuahuan Desert, Delicious Food and Healing

Day 3 of our trip began in Albuquerque, grabbing an early brunch of green chili burritos at the classic Albuquerque Frontier restaurant. Honey comes with the meals in Albuquerque, to put on tortillas/sopapillas as a desert. Why would you need desert though when you have green chili?

Self doubt, self care and pushing past presumptions

The second night on the road we splurged for a hotel. Not a fancy hotel for sure, in fact a hotel at the intersection of two interstates with broken doors and a broken shower for $50 a night. But we needed a place to get a good sleep for the night, because we had hit a breaking point yesterday with lack of sleep, water and confidence.

We turned 30 this year, are living through a global pandemic, and have held stable jobs for years. …

Traveling with a OCD, and why I keep coming back to the road

Sometimes you start out a vacation with a relaxing evening, and sometimes you start out a big month long trip with a bird shitting directly in the pot of Mac ‘n Cheese you’re eating. And you don’t notice until you feel a second wet plop on the hand holding your spoon.

“A fucking bird has just shat on me. Oh my god… I think…” I say as I realize that the black stuff in my mac and cheese I’ve been eating is also shit.

There are barely any signs of birds around… what are the chances? Germs and toxins are…

Update on Books, Activism and Reflection

Organizing and Experimenting

I got to hear Mariame Kaba speak in person at the Abolition Conference in Mississippi a few years ago (Making and Unmaking of Mass Incarceration). I left that conference feeling frustrated that there was disagreement between abolitionists on the direction to go, but now that abolition has become a mainstream conversation after the George Floyd protests, I feel less tender about it and realize that it’s all in the experimentation. …

(Baba Yaga Novel)

“They say I’m your best friend, but I’m really…”

Walking past the gas station, I saw five figures in hooded HAZMAT suits in the parking lot. As I glanced at them, they waved at me, speaking words I was unable to hear, and pointing at something on the ground. I kept walking quick, not wanting to interact with these men, but still disturbed and curious as to what they were doing. A man who was not wearing a body suit and mask came up to me. He was speaking to me too… what was he saying? He was asking me…

Thoughts on sense of self, OCD, white accompliceship, hazelnut coffee

I think it’s probably a strange time to write this as I have sunk into a mini quarantine depression, but perhaps this is also the best time to write it. For me, 2020 began with overconfidence, hit the middle with a summer full of rebellion, and ended in existential questioning and self doubt.

To write my this I poured over my private journal from the year, and noted 30 of the most choice insights from a year unlike any other I have experienced.


  1. It is a skill to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Step back to see more. …

Week 43 of Social Isolation


I’m having a hard time remembering that billions of people exist in the world.

It’s the first official week of COVID winter, and I’m having a little trouble getting started today. I decided I would start a traditional blog again… if only to give myself some direction and maybe share a bit of camaraderie with everyone else riding out the pandemic in their apartments.

Today started with me waking up (a bit) hungover for the weekly zoom family call (my partner Carp, my grandparents, parents, brother and his partner. It’s my favorite tradition that has come out of the…

…Continuing NaNoWriMo Story 2020–21

I never finished the pierogies that day.

The day started off to a rough start, with what some would argue was far too much to drink before noon. What can I say, I got caught watching the news and kept pouring myself fingerfulls of whiskey. I also opened a packet of country peppered gravy, and used it as a sauce over frozen ravioli for lunch. Sometimes you just have to make do with what you have, don’t you? I drink and smoke and eat shit with my cats. You don’t understand? Don’t even bother, I’m sorry.

My customers would just…

Annie Windholz

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